I Absolve Myself of Any Responsibility

I waited to buy Halloween candy until yesterday. I bought candy that I am not overly fond of. These were deliberate choices because I know that I have little willpower when faced with a bag of candy bars of any kind.

I also know, however, that I can wait until tomorrow to open the bag. I'm not that lacking in fortitude.

The three Nestle Crunch bar wrappers in the trash can are almost certainly part of a right-wing plot to besmirch my abstemious reputation. Yes, that must be it.