Thursday, December 14, 2006

De-Evolution of a Christmas Craft

As I've mentioned, I keep my craft ambitions low. Christmas crafts are no exception. So far I've shepherded the kids through painted-and-glittered popsicle stick Christmas tree ornaments. Early next week I've slated an appointment for making applesauce/cinnamon dough ornaments.

Today's craft seemed simple enough, too: cardboard wreaths, painted and then festooned with foam Christmas-y cutouts and bits of ribbon. Not hard, right?

I began preparations:

1. Select a cardboard box from which to cut the wreaths. Check.

2. Trace the outer and inner circles for the wreaths. Check.

3. Use an ex-acto knife to cut out the shapes. Family Feud--like "wrong answer" buzzing noise: Ex-acto knife is not strong enough to cut through the cardboard.

4. Use a utility knife to cut out the shapes. Check -- no, wait, make that another buzz. Although the utility knife does in fact cut through the cardboard, it does so in a most ragged fashion.

5. Select thinner cardboard for wreath. A shirt box seems the appropriate thickness.

6. Trace shapes. Check. I am good at tracing shapes!

7. Use ex-acto knife on thinner cardboard. Buzz. Still too flimsy a tool, as evidenced by blade snapping off stem of knife.

8. Use utility knife on thinner cardboard. Check, but the resulting circles still look as if they were attacked with a chain saw.

9. Stomp into kitchen in a huff.

10. Rifle through construction paper. Slam two sheets of green construction paper on counter. Fetch scissors.

11. Fail, miserably, at cutting out even, concentric circles with scissors.

12. Stomp around some more.

13. Pick out last two sheets of green construction paper.

14. Draw freehand, lopsided Christmas trees.

15. Cut out trees with scissors.

16. Leave trees on counter, undecorated, because window of craft opportunity has slammed shut.

Since it seems I've scaled back this project to infantile proportions, I'm confident nothing will go wrong tomorrow, when the kids stick the foam shapes on their precolored trees.

Nancy, I so need you to come minister over our holiday crafts!