Position Sought: Professional Fussbudget

Excellent qualifications: able to pitch enormous fit over slightest of grievances, including, but not limited to, the following:

- Chair positioned parallel to table instead of jaunty angle

- Retrieval of shoes from closet by maternal family member instead of self

- Suggestion that getting dressed in the morning take somewhat less than 35 minutes

- Recommendation that potty chair be used for activity other than standing upon as stepstool

- Procurement of milk from refrigerator by same clueless family member stated above

- Assumption, based on drinking habits of preceding 365 days, that soy milk is the
preferred beverage instead of cow's milk that has been consumed at most twice in the past

Three years of experience with behaving like an addled monarch. Able to tailor temper tantrums by decibel level, volume of tears, and body position according to situation. Enthusiastic references available upon request.