Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Hip Hop Dance Lessons? Yeah, Let Me Get Right on That

If the world at large isn't make you feel hopeless, here's a little dose of domestic outrageousness on the Dr. Phil show (courtesy of the Literary Mama blog) to tip you right over into a pit of self-righteous anger:

Grant and his 75-point list of requirements [for a wife] . . . included: "organizing closets; organizing hallway closet; keep the car clean; grocery shopping; cook efficiently; use the oven; use the stove; get rid of the stuff you don't use or need; sew; mend; wash; load and use the washing machine properly; basic routine maintenance on washer, dryer, oven, dishwasher, fridge, freezer, toaster; decorate windows; weekly and monthly cleaning; positioning of furniture; organize videos and DVDs; organize CDs; organize the linen; stock the linen; sanitize the bathrooms; cook Mexican food; get country dance lessons, Latin dance lessons, hip-hop dance lessons; and do preventative maintenance relating to common household items." Grant wanted his wife to dress sexier and had suggested that she wash his truck in her bathing suit and have breast augmentation surgery. He graded her cooking abilities. And not only did Grant feel that his wife should do all 75 things on his list (in addition to caring for their three children), but that all wives should be subjected to the same expectations: "those are just things I thought that a wife in general would need to know. . . . A wife staying at home [with children] ought to be able to handle those things."

I'd add one more thing to this list: "Muster all the self-possession you can and NOT murder husband in his sleep."

(Thanks to Anne for pointing this out and setting my blood to "Boil".)