Sunday, December 18, 2005

Enough Evidence to Convict?

Allie's recent exploits have earned her a new nickname: Ms. Destructo.

I submit the following pieces of evidence, all gathered at my sister's house and at my house over the past 2.5 days:

-- Locks and locks, and more locks, of thin, straight hair completely coated with my sister's liquid foundation. In case you were wondering, it's really hard to wash this stuff out of hair. It took three separate hair washings and lots of scream-inducing combing to eradicate the sticky residue.

-- The entire contents of a bottle of liquid vitamin dumped all over the family room carpet. With iron, to make the stain even more recalcitrant. Prior to my trip to the bathroom that sent up the "All Clear!" signal, I had thought the bottle was out of harm's way. Silly mommy. Yes, of course I'm lucky no one ingested any of the vitamin. And yes, of course I'll be more careful next time. But my rug! I can still complain about my stained rug, right?

-- Copious amounts of dish soap squirted on, let's see, the kitchen floor, the kitchen cabinets, the same abused rug mentioned above, the coffee table, the entertainment center, the chairs in the family room, a few stuffed animals, and some Christmas decorations.

The guilty party needs a better poker face. When faced with the incriminating evidence of dark brown vitamin solution and bright blue dish soap scattered about the kitchen and family room, she ran away, crying "I'm scared of the vitamin/shampoo!"

I guess I need to stop making these luxurious, self-indulgent visits to the bathroom.