Thursday, October 20, 2005

Once in Love with Allie, Always in Love with Allie

Good thing, too, because sometimes she doesn't make it easy.

I think I've mentioned Allie's independent streak, her determined nature, her sometimes, to use a term I've loved since reading The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, sheer bloody-mindedness. These characteristics may drive me crazy, but I think they're terrific qualities for a girl to have.

She can be sweet and adorable, for sure. Just don't ask too much in the way of affection. I guess I've been spoiled by Sean's openly loving nature -- he is extremely affectionate, and gives the best hugs in the world, both in response to mine and of his own volition ("Can I have a hug, Mommy?").

Allie doles out hugs according to some rather opaque criteria, the closest to which I can ascertain is "Whenever the hell I feel like it, okay?". Even when she does deign to hug you, she holds back, never fully committing her strength or body to it. She often begins pushing away almost as soon as the hug begins.

I try not to let this hurt my feelings; it's just her nature, just as it is Sean's nature to seek out affection. She is clearly attached to me -- it's just that I'll have to play by her rules. I sometimes wonder, though, how she is going to be as she grows up. Is this a sign of future difficulties with emotional responses? I also don't want to be judgmental and compare her unfavorably to Sean (gee, like you just did above, Suzanne?); that kind of reaction would set up a lifetime of resentment.

If anyone has any experience with children who have differing thresholds for physical affection, I'd love to hear about it.