Rescind My Teaching Certificate, Please (If I Had One, That Is)

You all know that potty training has been one big flop after another. But there are other, smaller, items on the toddler curriculum that also have me stymied. How exactly does one teach one's child to:

-- Spit (toothpaste)?
-- Pedal a tricycle?
-- Drink from a straw?

Sean goes through the motions when it comes to spitting out the toothpaste, but nothing actually emits from his mouth. I compensate by putting the smallest amount of toothpaste possible on the toothbrush and hope that he doesn't succumb to fluoride poisoning.

Sean loves to ring the bell on his tricycle. Oh, yes, sitting and ringing the bell are his favorite tricycle activities. He seems interested in moving the tricycle himself, but he just can't coordinate his leg muscles to achieve that fluid, constant motion necessary to pedal.

When presented with a straw, Sean dutifully follows the example set by his parents, but in the reverse of the spitting exercises, nothing actually enters his mouth. He does think straws are pretty funny, though.

I'm sure that if I were more creative or a better motivator I would have figured out how to teach these things by now. It's a good thing I'm not getting paid for this gig.