Sunday, April 10, 2005

New Beginnings

Sorry for the extended absence.

This was a tumultuous week, both practically and emotionally.

I finished everything I needed to at work, yet still feel that I am leaving everyone in a very bad lurch. A pretty reasonable reaction considering that, in fact, I am.

My last day at work was kind of surreal. I decided at the beginning of the day that I would treat it as if it were any other day. Denial, I told my friends, can be a good way of dealing with one's emotions.

My coworkers took me out to lunch, and back at the office they had cake for a larger group of people. Lots of really nice things were said, and I felt so humbled by it all. It was overwhelming in the best of senses.

The weekend left me little time for reflection, propelled as it was by my in-laws' visit and Jeff's departure for the airport.

(Did I mention that for my first week as a stay-at-home mom, Jeff will be in Barcelona? Isn't that just side-splittlingly unfunny?)

Now it's Sunday evening, the cusp of a week not dictated by the strictures of a 9-to-5 schedule. I feel . . .I don't know, kind of hollow. I'm sad about leaving work, I'm nervous about how this upcoming week will proceed. I don't regret my decision to stay home at all, but I'm not as elated as I think I should be.

Bear with me as I adjust this set. It might take a while.