Attention Span

You might think, given my usual child-centric content, that this post is going to be about how one of my kids can't seem to focus on anything for more than a few minutes before being distracted.

A reasonable assumption, especially because....

Wait, is that a fly buzzing around the kitchen? And wait a sec, I need to check my e-mail.

Umm, where was I?

Oh, yes, posting. About short attention spans. But not a child's -- mine.

I find myself unable, or unwilling, to gather together enough patience to follow through to completion even the simplest of TV shows. Or to read an entire NYT article online. Watch a whole movie in one sitting? Highly unlikely, unless I'm in a theater.

I feel as if I am swallowing bits of information in ever-shrinking chunks, which leaves me with little capacity for a big long luxurious drink.

I blame a few things: Remote controls, for one. Constant interruptions from my kids, for another. The Internet, blog posts, Facebook. My beloved iPod, even, with the alarmingly addictive "next" button that allows me to bypass any song I choose. Thank goodness I don't Twitter, or my attention span would be about the width of a sand flea.

The one saving grace is that I still read books. Some of them quite long! Of course, I usually read them in short snippets, but still.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have about ten other things that simultaneously need what's left of my attention.

Lordy, Lordy, Look Who's...

Twenty-five.

I know that's not quite how the saying goes, but the number that does rhyme has connotations I'm just not up to embracing right now.

So, it appears that I haven't posted since, umm, February. Which means I've missed the chance for a timely post not only ignoring lamenting celebrating my birthday but also acknowledging my blog's fifth anniversary.

Five years! That's a long dip in the self-absorption pool, huh?

I've thought about shuttering the store several times, but I still like having this space open just in case I need to clear out the clutter in my head.

These days the clutter seems to be all about adjusting to life with a 7-year-old. It's been quite the sea change, this recent shift from Curious George to SpongeBob, from PBS to Nickelodeon, from The Magic Treehouse to Captain Underpants.

It seems I'm constantly battling the influence of Other Kids. I'm subjected to almost-daily pleas for a DS. I'm pressed for a timeline of when, exactly, I'll be buying him a cell phone. And how about watching Batman and Indiana Jones movies?

I hold firm. I say no, not yet, when you're older -- and, sometimes, "never". I'm perfectly okay with being a killjoy.

Thanks to our new DVR, we can zip through the commercials that I find even more objectionable than the shows they bracket. I wish there were a similar button we could press to bypass the influence of Other Kids.

And, while I'm indulging in fantasies, I'd also love to get my hands on an anti-aging potion....